Practical step by step advice for questions on communication without conflict, Husbands Dealing with menopause, and setting boundaries for friends and family to protect your marriage.

Whenever I have an issue with my spouse,   we can’t seem to talk about it. We start yelling at each other but neither of us are listening. How do I approach situation?

• You must communicate with spouse Matthew 18:15 go to person alone
• Pick a time when spouse will be in a more relaxed and positive frame of mind Eccles. 3:7 there’s a time to speak
• Start conversation with endearing words honey, darling, sweetheart, baby, beloved . (Song of Solomon)
• Speak in a gentle non accusatory tone giving eye contact whole time you speak Prov. 15:1 Soft answer turneth away wrath
• Give spouse a praise related to the issue, “I really appreciate how you”. Prov. 16:24 Pleasant words are as a honeycomb sweet to  the soul and health to the bones
• Make disarming statement,  ”I have no desire to hurt you in anyway”

        1 Cor. 13:4 love is kind

• Express a confident outcome, “I know that together we will work this out” Amos 3:3
• Share your feeling truthfully using I statement  (I feel , I need)
• Give opportunity for response, 1 Peter 3:8 be courteous
• Make mutual solution proposals negotiate best solution, Eph 5:21 submitting yourself one to another
• Write it down and if mutually agreeable sign it,  Hab 2:2 Write the vision
• After some time come back evaluate and make adjustment

2.      How do I respond to my wife in menopause

• Get informed- Get information on menopause, on line, from doctor, books, other relatives
• Discuss with wife her specific symptoms and challenges
• Ask her what kind of support she wants and needs
• Be affirming
• Be patient
• Do not take mood changes and negative attitudes personally
• Periodically get together with other brothers whose wives are experiencing menopause.

3     How do we become one when we have outside influences family, friends, and in laws

• Set a time to discuss the matter Eccl. 3:7 time to speak
• Each person briefly shares the view of issue using I statements
• Express a confident outcome I know that together we will work this out Amos 3:3
• Share your feeling truthfully using I statements (I feel , I need)
• Give opportunity for response 1 Peter 3:8 be courteous
• Make mutual solution proposals negotiate what boundaries will implemented Eph 5:21 submitting yourself one to another
• Write it down and if mutually agreeable sign it Hab 2:2 Write the vision
• Plan more couple events for just two
• Speak to family persons who are exercising outside influences about the negotiated boundaries and petition them to observe them
• After some time come back evaluate and make adjustments

Tags: communication conflict